When your kids push every button, the urge to react is strong, and so is the regret. Hannah talks with neuroscience-trained consultant Dr. Michelle Machado about the 90-second pause: how one frustrated thought can fuel a loop of more, and how stepping back for a moment breaks it. They cover modeling this for kids, why "calm down" never works mid-meltdown, and how knowing your triggers helps you stay ahead of them.
Key Takeaways
- A frustrated thought triggers a feeling, and your brain and body keep feeding each other more frustrated thoughts.
- When triggered, pause: breathe, leave the room, or tell yourself not to react yet. Michelle says the chemical surge fades within about 90 seconds.
- Narrate your pause to your kids so they learn the tool and the words.
- "Calm down" backfires on a wound-up nervous system.
- Know your triggers, mentally rehearse your response, and state the consequences calmly.
- Kids tune out repeated phrases, so change your tone and wording.
Quotes From The Episode
"Every time you think a thought and your brain releases a chemical, that chemical starts to dissipate within 90 seconds." (Dr. Michelle Machado)
"Mummy's gonna walk away before I say something that I don't want to say." (Dr. Michelle Machado)
"The action is: do not take action." (Hannah Morgan)
"Awareness is key." (Dr. Michelle Machado)
About Our Guest
Dr. Michelle Machado is a 2x TEDx speaker, author, and neuroscience-trained consultant. Her work focuses on the growing problem of disconnection: how distraction and pressure erode resilience for professionals and families. She helps people reconnect with themselves, others, and what truly matters so they can thrive in a world that never slows down.
- Website: michelledmachado.com
- Instagram: @drmichellemachado
- LinkedIn: drmichellemachado
Episodes Released Weekly on Tuesdays
This episode of De-Stress the Nest is sponsored by Hawkeye Focus Coaching and Heron House Management. Learn more at heronhousemanagement.com.
About Heron House Management
Heron House Management is a virtual house management service that takes the stress out of your busy life by taking on your mental load and managing your To Do list. We provide fractional virtual house management for busy families at 10, 15 and 20+ hours/month.
Meal planning, signing up for kids activities, scheduling doctor's appointments, finding a house cleaner, planning your kid's birthday party, getting quotes for that home renovation project, or scheduling a monthly date night with your significant other and so much more. We do it all! Learn more at heronhousemanagement.com.
